Yesterday was one of those days where I had my limit of fussy boys. When that happens, sometimes Josh will offer to take the boys off of my hands so I can get out of the house. Our lawn needed mowing so I offered to do that. It was a good way for me to work my frustrations out and not to hear any whining or fussing from kids. It was nice until I was finished and started putting things away. Samuel saw me and of course started crying again. This leads me to my next musing.
It is possible to feel frustrated and loved at the same time. Samuel is good at making me feel this way. He usually does pretty well if I leave for awhile. Sometimes he fusses a little, but usually calms down within five minutes or so. The part that gets him is if I leave, but come back and forth within eye sight. For instance, last night I kept walking by the window to put several things away outside. That upset him, because he knew I was there, but wasn't paying any attention to him. It's flattering, because I know he loves me and wants to be around me. But at the same time, it's frustrating because he knows that I'm there, but is doing everything in his power to make me feel "guilty" about not being with him. After I got inside last night and cleaned up, he clung to me the rest of the night until bedtime. He wouldn't even hug Josh goodnight. He's such a mama's boy. But even though it frustrates me sometimes, I am enjoying it. I know that all too soon, he won't want to snuggle or sit on my lap anymore. Then, I will be grateful for his independence, but saddened at the same time.
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